The Perils of Politics

A gloomy day outside, cold, with a driving rain that slashed across the mullioned windows of my study. The summer of 09 is resembling more and more the coming of a new ice age, and I am informed by a reliable meteorological source that the ice has only recently left Hudson's Bay and that the polar bear population is on the rise. Must call Al Gore and ask where his calculations went astray.

Given the mess outside, I was content to work on a paper I had been asked to give to the movers and shakers in the American Republican Party. My working title was "Then And Now", and described in detail just how far the Republicans had strayed from their original roots -- the importance of self-responsibility, the firm divide between church and state, small but effective (and transparent) government, and a tax system that was as loophole free as it could be, with a form that ran to no more than three pages.

Definitely, I thought, a recipe for future electoral success, although I did make the point that this would take some time to bring about. For instance, the rabid screaming of Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh (to name three) had to be curtailed, something unlikely to occur overnight. At present, they do their party no good at all.

At this point my private line flashed. Since only four people knew the number, my interest was piqued. And then I was talking to a rather distraught Michelle Obama.

"Simone, this health care thing is horrible. People are saying all kinds of untrue things, and Barack at times despairs."

"Well, I never said it's going to be easy. It took some time to occur in Canada as well."

"And that's another thing," she continued. "His critics are accusing him of bringing in Canadian health care, and calling him a socialist. He's not. Really."

"Michelle, there's nothing wrong with a bit of socialism -- it actually can temper some of the raw edges of capitalism. But that's another issue. As for the harsh criticism, you must remember that he is aiming a dagger right at the heart of the health insurance and pharmaceutical companies. They will not go down without a fight. For now, however, I would ask you to emphasize to Barack the importance of the Tenth Amendment."

"The Tenth Amendment? What do residual powers....oh, I see. Like your Mr. Douglas." (One smart lady, this.)

"Exactly. Just ensure that the public health option is included in the final bill, but under Tenth Amendment provisions. That way each state can decide whether to opt in to a public option, and receive appropriate financing to do so. This might even draw some Republican votes, given that party's love of states rights. Of course, it won't play in Alabama or Mississippi, but it might in Vermont. Or even that promoter of gay marriage, Iowa. And once one or two states opt in, you're on your way. Up here, it was first Saskatchewan. Soon after, when the Saskatchewan hospitals and doctors realized that they weren't doomed, that they could survive, even prosper, other provinces followed suit, and the Federal Government shortly had no choice but to bring in a country-wide plan.

"Simone, that's a hell of an idea --"

"Oh, I suspect it has surfaced in Barack's mind as well. Might get a little more emphasis, though."

"I hear you. But those damn critics..."

"Nonsense. My critics have issued a fatwa that calls for my torture and beheading. So let it go. Although I do have a definition of a critic that might help."

"I'm all ears."

"A critic is a virgin who wants to teach Casanova how to make love."

"Oh, I like that."

"Thought you would."