Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Clowns In Copenhagen

A trip to Copenhagen and the World Conference on Global Warming was not on my "to do" list, not by a long shot. However, Sir Harry had said that certain of his colleagues had requested my presence, and hence, "no" would not do. Apparently my expertise was sought, involving key sniper positions that could come into play should something untoward occur. Having bargained for first class airfare, and successful in this, off I went.

Once there, I immediately saw a definite plus. In an act of insane Danish political correctness, all Christmas shrubbery had been removed from the site -- couldn't offend the burka-and sari-wearing set you know. But such shrubbery might have been used to hide IED's or whatever, to the detriment of delegates' health, so what you loses on the roundabouts, you gain on the swings. So I set about discussing with the appropriate security personnel the likely spots where trouble could erupt, and without much ado, agreement was reached. It is always a relief to work with competent professionals. Such people have very direct reporting lines that bypass the usual middle and upper management types who's whole existence lies in the necessity of putting their oars in, usually screwing up whatever is being proposed.

Back at my temporary quarters at the British Consulate, I reflected on the Conference, the reflection aided by a bottle of Grey Goose Sir Harry had thoughtfully provided. (He does have his good points.) First off, I have no doubt that global warming is occurring, although this would be a hard sell right now in Alberta -- average temperature minus 30 degrees Celsius. And yes, I am aware of certain e-mails that indicate certain disagreements among the scientists studying the matter. Who knew that scientists occasionally differ? No, my argument is that such warming is part of forces that we can do little to influence.

In short, the delegates seem blissfully unaware of the cosmic forces they intend to rein in. The last ice age we experienced is still in retreat, and of course the world is warming up. In time, the situation may come about that currently-frozen Alberta might once again experience the 40 degree Celsius temperatures that allowed dinosaurs to happily roam about. Hence, in my opinion, time could much more usefully focussed on adaptive strategies. If given some planning time, we as a race have proved rather adept at formulating and enacting these. Mind you, if the cosmos suddenly began to play really dirty pool, we would be in the position of looking skyward, noting something huge hurtling our way, and left with nothing but "What the fu--"

So going on and on about greenhouse gases, carbon capture, L.E.D. bulbs, cap and trade, or whatever, seems a total waste of time. The earth, (and the cosmic forces that enable its existence) is oblivious to the pleas of the Copenhagen delegates, however earnest they be. It is as if a person screamed at the universe "I exist!" to which the universe replied, "Well, I'm sorry, but I don't feel any sense of obligation."

Unless....there is another game being played entirely. Carbon capture is going to raise a gazillion taxpayer dollars, particularly where cap and trade is concerned. Might the whole thing be a gigantic money grab? And then I had a zero at the bone sensation a la Emily Dickinson. Who was it some time ago that argued forcefully for the capping and trading of carbon? My memory is not what it was....then I had it.

Enron.

Enough said.

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