Saturday, April 17, 2010

Sallying Forth To See Sarah

It came to my attention that Sarah Palin was speaking in Southern Ontario (I can see Hamilton from my house!) and I decided to attend. Irving, who usually doesn't want me out of his sight, raised no objections. Apparently, according to his sources, (reliable) the Palin crowd is the least likely to come under attack by Al Qaeda or other such sub-human entities. He opined that at least someone in the opposition was aware of Napoleon's dictum that you never interrupt the enemy when he's making a mistake, and they must be delighted at the way Sarah's followers, to say nothing of Fox News, are disrupting America. So off I went.

I decided to dress down for this occasion, and stuck to a serviceable Armani pant suit. Entering the hall, I caught a glimpse of Palin, and was startled to note that she wore an identical outfit. Well, at least she, or more likely her P.A., had taste, and I had to admit she looked good in it. Hillary should be so lucky.

Sarah trotted out her message of the importance of God, guns and the least government possible, to the delight of the audience. Wonderful, I thought. I could just see this crowd working together to build roads, maintain an electricity grid, and quickly fix a ruptured sewer.

Not.

On the other hand, I begrudgingly had to give her credit. She connected superbly with her audience, and was fighting her own battle, not hiding behind some committee or other. She also in her remarks indicated a sense of humour, something lacking in the lackeys of Fox News. And she had in the past exhibited a certain degree of raw courage by having the guts to appear on Saturday Night Live with the brilliant Tina Fey. Which prompts a number of "if onlies" that I address to Sarah personally. I have no idea how far this little blog travels, so there is a possibility (admittedly remote) that you might just encounter the suggestions below, and (even more remote) act on them.

If only you read more. Your lack of historical knowledge, even that of your own country, is appalling, even by the standards of American public school education. So Sarah, instead of reciting the mantra of "Drill, baby, drill!" I would urge "Read, girl, read!"

If only you could grasp the fact that there are two sides to an issue. This is a grievous fault, and, like Caesar, grievously you must answer it. Constantly hammering only one point of view becomes self-defeating in a very short time. Consistent, yes, but that, as Emerson pointed out, in his essay Self-Reliance, (your credo, no less!) , "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."

If only you would travel. Worthwhile travel, that is, not just flitting among various hotels that are the same everywhere. Some time spent in the slums of Mumbai, or in a Doctors Without Borders outpost in the Congo, would do wonders for your zeitgeist, (look the term up -- it is a useful one) which right now is narrow to the extreme.

If only you could bridge the 'them' vs. 'us' gap. Sarah, we are all on the same planet, and stressing a split between 'we' and 'they' is akin to saying, "Your end of the boat is sinking." So stop it.

And finally, if only you would actually read the U. S. Constitution. I mean, stop trying to wrench this document into Christian dogma. There is nothing in the Constitution that even hints at organized religion, let alone argues for it. The founders were all too aware of the grim effects of organized religion upon a society, knowing in great detail the horror story of the Catholic / Protestant schism and its effect upon England, and would have none of it. Moreover, spend a moment -- actually several moments -- considering the nature of those countries where organized religion dominates: step forward, Saudi Arabia. Step forward, Iran. Sarah, is this what you really want for America?

Now if it should come about that you actually implement these suggestions, I can assure you that your followers would expand considerably, and might even bring about a favourable portrait in the New York Times. At which point all becomes possible. Just takes some willpower.

Might you succeed?

You betcha!

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