Electing To Have An Election

It was good to be back at the Manor, and have a chance to recuperate after my Libyan adventure. I limp a bit -- a bullet in the thigh will do that -- and I am sore all over. The latter condition is due to a savage workout with Irving in the gym. He is still angry that I sailed off without his protection, and let me know it, both verbally and physically. Irving was also upset at a gift I had been given by the Compte de Rienville, who had presented me with a gold pendant, at the bottom of which was the very bullet extracted from my thigh, encrusted with six sparkling diamonds. Bless him; the thought of his generosity did much to alleviate the pain I was feeling.

However, a needle-hot shower, a fluffy robe, Schubert, and a serious Grey Goose over ice did much to make things right again, and I can now attend to writing this account.

Elections I gather are much in the news. Egypt, for instance, where they were voting on a referendum with respect to a new constitution. I understand the Egyptians are delighted, the election being the first one in living memory where the outcome was not known in advance. This event, of course, is sending all manner of ripples throughout the Arab world -- if there, why not here? But not all countries are Egypt, and many of the autocratic rulers will fight to the death to keep themselves and their cronies in power. Throw in Islam, currently in its medieval phase, and the situation is murky. Very murky.

Then I learn that Canada is about to be thrust into electoral mode, and one wonders why. The Tories are running the economy well, if somewhat too liberal for my taste, and have committed no egregious sins other than some dubious political ethics, ethics that pale into nothingness when one looks back at the horrific antics of one Jean Chretien and the sponsorship debacle. So why an election now?

Taking a healthy slug of Grey Goose, I gave this matter some thought. Then I had it.

First, I had to answer a question. Why would the Liberals force an election they would almost certainly lose? (In order to upset the Tories, they would have to take all kinds of seats in Quebec, and that's not going to happen. Giles Duceppe will make sure of that.) Therefore, there is another agenda. Put simply, the Liberal insiders WANT TO GET RID OF IGNATIEFF. An election loss makes this possible, and avoids the sturm und drang of the internecine warfare that would occur in a leadership convention.

I'm sure Stephen Harper has figured this out too, but his recently presented budget, while not perfect, nevertheless is basically sound. Could it be saved.?

Maybe.

I reached for my secure cell phone, and called Laureen Harper. (I have a few select women on speed dial, but do not abuse the privilege.) Laureen was furious; an election would put the kibosh on her and Stephen's planned attendance at THE ROYAL WEDDING, something she had really been looking forward to.

"There is one last thing that might be tried," I said. "It's a long shot, but you never know."

"What are you about, Simone?"

"Just this. The cost of an election is roughly $300.000.00. What Stephen could do is funnel that money to the NDP to meet some of their priorities. Jack Layton might, might I say, go for this. It will allow him to save face, and his base would be grateful. So, in a weird way, would the country."

Laureen replied, "It's a bit of a Hail Mary, but I'll have a talk with Stephen. Damn it, I had the dress all picked out. Talk to you soon."

So, as Sherlock would say, "The game's afoot." And this time, let's make sure the dog actually barks.