Fairy Tales Cavorting With Social Media

Social media is really getting out of hand.

This came to my attention when my daughter Victoria informed me that I was being vilified on the Internet as a main supporter of fostering cruel treatment of geese.

"What on earth are you talking about?" I replied. "I cannot ever remember being for cruelty towards birds, animals, or whatever. The only group I have been vilifying recently are the sub-humans that comprise Al-Qaeda. Someone, or some group, is playing silly buggers."

"Just have a look, Mum. On U-Tube. Under "goose"."

I did, and there I saw posted a video of a flock of geese, along with a diatribe against me and my alleged support of their treatment in making pate de foie gras. I was baffled, and turned to an IT specialist who might be able to determine where this all had originated.

The specialist, my Israeli colleague Rachel from my days in The Trade, was expert in her ability to hack into most anything.* She herself was intrigued, and went at the task with a vengeance.

What emerged was the following.

Apparently someone with cruelty to geese as a "Cause" was at a dinner party some weeks ago where I had led a conversation on the importance of fairy tales in assessing and understanding current political trends and figures. In buttressing this point of view, I had drawn on two sources, Bruno Bettelheim's The Uses of Enchantment and -- wait for it -- Mother Goose.

The first source gave a certain academic gravitas to my position; the second allowed all present to recall familiar examples. What had never occurred to me is that someone could so mis-interpret my citing of Mother Goose into a position favouring the practice of force-feeding geese.

Rachel at that point rather exceeded her authority, inserting some  heavily photo shopped pictures of a number of animal rights proponents in various pornographic positions into my accuser's Facebook page, then drawing this to the attention of senior officials in the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or, as it is commonly known, PETA.

"That should keep him busy for awhile." she said with some satisfaction.

I had no doubt. I mean, what I was about was really innocence itself, drawing parallels between politicians and those fairy tales that best encapsulated their essence. Jack and Jill, for instance, recalling Dalton McGuinty and Kathleen Wynne, or Humpty Dumpty recalling Rob Ford.

No geese in sight.

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* Rachel's astounding ability to hack has led at least three intelligence organizations to engage in a world-wide manhunt (womanhunt?). She remains at large, and only a very few know precisely where she is. The Lady is one of those. -- Ed.