The War On Drugs. Not

My friend from the CIA, Matilda Hatt, got in touch the other day, and relayed an interesting anecdote. Apparently Tilly was given the task of delivering a package to a source in Mexico, in Ciudad Juarez to be exact. Just what the package contained was none of my business, and I refrained from asking. Professional courtesy, you understand.

The drop off was not far from the border at El Paso, so Tilly decided to walk back. Reaching a small city square, she espied a fruit stand. The peaches looked particularly good, and Tilly decided she wanted one. As she was paying the rather scruffy fruit stand attendant, she became conscious that all had gone very quiet. She heard the attendant mutter some curse, and saw him withdraw an AK 47 from underneath the stand. Then a shot rang out, and the attendant fell forward, shot through the head.

Tilly next saw four men approaching, armed to the teeth, with one brandishing a machete. Tilly, being not exactly unaware of these things, assumed the machete was to enable beheading, the classic calling card of the Zeta drug gang. Well, thought Tilly, not this time.

She grabbed the AK 47, checked that it was loaded, and as the men neared poked the weapon out from behind some cantaloupes and opened fire. The machete bearer went down, followed by two other gang members. The fourth, seeing his compatriots writhing on the ground, ran away, instantly realizing that he had other things to do, other places to be, and other people to see.

Tilly also decided that it would be best to get the hell out of there, her actions being a tad off the CIA reservation. She wiped the rifle clear of her prints, dropped it by the (late) fruit stand attendant, and took off. She did, however, remember to grab a peach, which she later informed me was delicious.

All this caused me to think of the phrase 'War on Drugs' as a massive misnomer. I mean, you declare war on a group, a country, a nation -- entities that are at least animate. The phrase could even be stretched a bit to include malarial mosquitoes or the elm bark beetle. (Torontonians, I know, would dearly love to have a war against raccoons officially sanctioned).  Calling something a war on drugs, however, is akin to declaring war on flagpoles, catch basins, buttons, or whatever.

Furthermore, it a strange war indeed where the ones at war are the very people giving enormous sustenance to the enemy. In North America, the biggest market for drugs is the U.S.A., who came up with the "War on Drugs' phrase in the first place. This is madness.

The way out of this morass is, of course, legalization, something only brave little Uruguay is seriously considering. In my view, I would start with marijuana, then, if this approach is successful, work up to heroin and cocaine (although not the crack variety). Amphetamines, ecstasy and other chemical concoctions would, however, be a bridge too far. Besides, law enforcement personnel have to be left with something to do. No point in swelling the unemployment rolls.

The current drug gangs could actually form a real cartel, along the lines of OPEC. I would also encourage the drug producers to consider IPO's and list on the world's stock exchanges. Thus public reports would become the norm, and if there were any hostile takeovers, these would occur in the boardroom using legal writs rather than bullets in the town square. Thus I can envision investing in such entities as The Zeta Corporation, or Guzman and Sons, or MaryJane Unlimited. It's all good.

As for profits, governments should tax heavily as done with alcohol and cigarettes, with the proceeds broken down as follows: 30% to general revenue; 30% to deficit reduction; 30% to rehab sites; 10% to administration.

Yet as long as the drug trade remains illegal, and as long as the U.S. and other countries remain heavily addicted, the carnage will continue, not the least of which occurs in Mexico. In this regard, the words of a former President of Mexico, Porfirio Diaz, are worth citing: "Poor Mexico. So far from God and so close to the United States."

Well bespoke, Porfirio.