From Russia With Love

My esteemed colleague from the old KGB, Svetlana Marinskaya, was in town, and asked me if she could stay at the Manor for one or two days.

I was glad to accommodate her -- the Compte was stuck in Paris fretting over the Syria debacle -- and I was, well, somewhat out of sorts. I did inquire if she was in a spot of trouble.

"You could say that," she admitted. "Hotels would be out of the question, but the security of your Manor -- "

"Quite. Do come ahead."

Shortly afterwards, Svetlana was ensconced in my study, content with a serious vodka martini, and full of a rather amazing story. Apparently Vladimir Putin has just written an op-ed piece for the New York Times that has caused quite a stir. It stresses his ability as a "peacemaker" in contrast to the "warmongering" of the U.S.A. He even cites Bashar al-Assad's agreement to turn over to Russia any chemical weapons left over from previous regimes, and thanks Putin for his assistance in ending the crisis in Syria.

"That's sheer rubbish." I stated. "And as I recall Putin's written for The Times before, in 1999 I think*, defending his decision to send soldiers into Chechnya."

"True", said Svetlana," but there's more."

"Thought there might be. Probably why you want a few days at the Manor. Off the grid, as it were. Anyway, continue."

"Well, you remember Gregor Kronski?"

"Best forger you lot have. Probably still beavering away at something."

Svetlana gave me a look bordering on smugness. "You'll never guess what he's working on now."

"Well?"

"A birth certificate for Putin. Shows he was born in North Dakota, someplace called Fargo. And along with that I discovered the rudiments of a plan to approach various groups instrumental in the American electoral process."

"What groups?" I asked.

"Oh, the list is an interesting one. There is  the Tea Party, various prominent Republicans, the N.R.A., certain financial interests -- it goes on."

I was flabbergasted. "You don't really believe that he's aiming to run in the 2016 election, do you?"

"When certain Party officials discovered that I had found these lists, I had to run away very fast. My action was taken very seriously, and it's why I'm glad to be here."

"I leaned forward, patted her knee. "This will all die down fairly quickly my good friend. Not to worry. You've forgotten that while Putin likes the limelight, he hates the drudgery of work. In fact, it was you who told me of Putin's favourite quote from Ronald Reagan.

"I've forgotten, What quote?"

"Reagan said, 'It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?' You can rest assured that Putin won't take that chance either."

At least I don't think he will.

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* The Lady is correct. -- Ed.