Olympic Oddities

I didn't expect to be writing on the 2012 London Olympics -- why add to what amounts to a verbal torrent of prose --  but then certain things stood out that irritated me enough to  alter my purpose. These are as follows:

The Shameful. Aside from the Opening Ceremonies, where the main stadium was packed, all venues, including the main stadium, featured large gaps where no one was seated.  Those who wanted a ticket were told that all were sold out. Turns out that these huge 'seating gaps' were reserved for and had been distributed to, Olympic VIP's (read: Various Idiotic Prats). Obviously, such VIPs had much more important things to attend to then actually watch an Olympic event. As I say, shameful.

The Bizarre. We go now to fencing, where a young South Korean girl was in a close match. As the clock wound down, she scored a go-ahead point, but with one second remaining, THE TIMER STOPPED. No big deal, you might say. I mean, all the girl had to do was back up on the ramp (or piste, as it is termed) and she would advance. Hell, even a non-fencer would succeed in such a case. But, oh no. The officials hemmed and hawed over the machine, a process that took some 25 minutes, with a now crying athlete forced to stay on the piste when all this was occurring. Finally, these paragons of athletic justice made their decision. The timer was re-set, and the match began all over again. Needless to say, the South Korean girl, now an emotional wreck, lost the match. This, then, a lovely example of common sense being trumped by bureaucratic paranoia.

The Gutsy. The bone-jarring, sinew-straining sport of badminton now comes to our attention. Owing to a somewhat insane of match grouping, it can and did result in teams finding it more profitable to lose a match, in order to face a weaker opponent later on. Badminton itself is wildly popular in South-East Asia, where most of the officials come from. As two matches of this ilk took place, the crowds in attendance (minus, of course, those VIPs referred to earlier) rained down their disapproval. I fully expected their displeasure to be ignored. After all, the teams, from China, South Korea, and Indonesia were from the "home" area, as it were. Lo and behold, however, badminton officials, as did Lady Macbeth, "put their courage to the sticking place" and turfed the teams right out of the competition. As well, they vowed that from this point on, there would be blind cross matches to ensure that such a thing never happens again. Well bowled, guys!

The Ridiculous. I will give the Saudis some credit for allowing two women to participate in the Games (although not without some severe arm-twisting by Olympic chief Jacques Rogge). I will give them no credit at all for insisting that one of the women, entered in the Judo competition, wear her hijab. At no point, of course, did we hear her views on the matter. When the appropriate Judo officials indicated wearing a hijab was forbidden for safety reasons, something the Saudis would have known in advance, they objected, and threatened to withdraw their women from the Games. Unlike the badminton officials referred to above, these officials caved, and the woman was allowed to wear a 'specially-designed' covering. Now I know from experience that Judo is a fabric-gripping sport, and wearing any kind of fabric around the head or neck make strangulation a very real possibility. This appeared to worry the Saudis not at all. I mean, we are talking about a woman here......

The Petty. Some of the VIPs have let it be known that the opening ceremonies went on too long. All those countries joyously marching in and all. You'd think that the athletes were the most important aspect of the Games. Silly thought.

The Awkward. The Olympic motto is citius, altius, fortius -- fastest, highest, strongest. There seems, however, to be a recent addition to these three: the prettiest. In some events, it is not just that you have performed an athletic feat, but how good you looked while doing it. Synchronized swimming is perhaps the best example, but gymnastics and platform diving also fall under this rubric. Thus we move from a performance per se to an interpretation of that performance. I wonder what Baron de Coubertin would have thought about all this?

So there. And I will now make myself a martini, a drink that, in a certain competition some years ago, I received my very own gold medal from the bartenders at the old Gollywog Lounge at New York's Taft Hotel. Have a nice weekend.