Euchred by Euphues

At the firm request of my editor, I have been instructed to begin with a caveat that applies to what follows. Hence I state the following -- we must be ever mindful that political correctness at its silliest has never done one fiftieth the harm as the reverse.

That said, I will put forward the position that Euphues has a lot to answer for. But who is Euphues?

This figure is the protagonist in John Lyly's Elizabethan novel The Anatomy of Wit, written in 1578. The character goes to some length to avoid any phraseology that could be construed as crude or stark, and opts continually for the graceful, the florid, the pretty. That approach led us to the term "euphemism", a usage that has become all too common in the world today.

As I am sure Lyly knew, the word stems from the Greek euphemizein, meaning "to speak with fair words." To the ancient Greeks, this was rather important. Gods could listen to human conversations, and if they overheard a slander or a disparaging term, the speaker could be in for a very rough ride. It was therefore wise, to use the phrase common today, to be politically correct.

In the world of ancient Greece, this made some sense. In today's world, I am not sure that NOT calling a spade a spade makes any sense at all.

Some instances might help one grasp the nettle. So to speak.

Were Euphues with us today, he would state that criminals are "unsavory characters"; one who is bald is "comb-free"; censorship becomes "selective speech" and a crime rate described as a "street activity index."

This tendency reaches a sort of apotheosis when the word "rape" rises its ugly head. This unspeakable act is now, in law, subsumed under the term "sexual assault", and can include any number of sexual crimes up to and including bestiality and incest. The term "rape" gets lost in the shuffle. It has even affected agriculture, where, at least in North America, "rapeseed" has morphed into "canola".

And there has been an alteration since the Roman first coined the term. The word "rape" derives from the Latin rapere, meaning to abduct (usually for the purpose of marriage, a la the Sabine women). And at no point can I find reference in Latin writings to women, by their actions or clothing, being responsible for a sexual attack upon them. In Islam, however....but this would be a digression too far.

Ultimately, of course, euphemisms fail. Everyone knows very well what lies beyond the term being prettified. So Gertrude Stein -- a rose is a rose is a rose. So Simone -- rape is rape is rape.

I am not, however, as polemic on the subject as, say Andrea Dworkin, and conclude this little missive with the thought that the only difference between rape and rapture, and this difference is crucial, is.....consent.

Enough, or too much.