A Week That Was Bad. For Vlad.

I had been in touch with Bohdan, the manager of my sugar beet plantation in Ukraine, checking to see that all was copacetic, given the rioting that had broken out in Kyiv and other western Ukrainian cities. All was fine, Bohdan said. Viktor Yanukovych was far too occupied with his very survival to spend time harassing my holdings.

He made the following observations, and given their insight, I pass their gist on to you.

It all looked so promising for Putin. The world in awe of the Olympic venues in Sochi. The Russian athletes, particularly the hockey players, having enormous success. Gold medals in abundance. Of course, Vladimir himself would be very much centre stage, hoping to bask in the plaudits that were sure to come.

On the world stage, similar hopes. A sweetheart deal for Ukraine involving a ton of money and gallons of gas was on offer, to ensure that Ukraine stayed well away from anything to do with Europe. Yanukovych assured Vladimir that while there would be some minor grumbling, all would be well. And Vlad would also usurp what used to be Canada's role as "honest broker" and bring about a workable solution to the Syrian horror story. One could almost hear Vlad snarling, "Take that, Obama!"

Then everything started to come apart. The press reporting that 51 billion dollars gets you some fine buildings, to be sure. Yet there was a host of incomplete projects, a great deal of faulty plumbing, and athlete's quarters that resembled army barracks done on the cheap. And what was with those twin toilets?

Then the games themselves, and all went well until the Russian hockey team met Finland, and was eliminated from contention. Moreover, the predicted shower of golden medals didn't occur, with Russia trailing Norway, Germany and (horror of horrors) the U.S.A.

Moreover, the Ukrainian strategy backfired big time. Severe rioting broke out, and is still continuing at this time of writing. As written before, Ukraine is really two countries. The East is content to be aligned with Russia; the West is definitely not. You can be sure that Vlad is not happy with Viktor.

As for Vlad the Peacemaker, Syria continues to be a charnel house.

And, grasshoppers, what do we learn from all this? Where Vlad is concerned, the words of W.S. Gilbert in The Mikado come to mind:

"I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family pride is something in-conceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering."

Too bad for Vlad.

The Fourth Olympic Objective

As everyone knows (unless stuck in a cave somewhere majoring in 'Hermit 101') the Olympic Winter Games are taking place in Sochi, Russia. There we can see athletes from numerous countries striving to reach the three major Olympic objectives: citius, altius, fortius: that is, fastest, highest, strongest.

Noble objectives, and it does the heart good to see young people exerting all effort to meet those objectives. What also does the heart good is the sheer fairness of it all. If you finish first, if you really are the fastest, if you are stronger than your opponents, you win the gold.

To be sure, things are not perfect, given the all too often use of performance-enhancing steroids or the creation of equipment later found to be illegal. But in terms of the system itself, with Olympic officials restricted to being timers, starters and referees, things are about as fair as they can get.

Not a "judge" in sight.

Now I am not certain when Olympic "judges" first appeared. Such creatures were not part of the original Hellenic Games, and I doubt, in their modern reincarnation, Baron de Coubertin welcomed them with open arms. But appear they did, and this brings us to what I term the fourth Olympic objective -- the performance deemed most aesthetic.

Hence "sports" such as figure skating, snowboarding, synchronized swimming, diving, indeed any activity where subjective judgement plays a part, all these require judges to determine that A is more adept, more aesthetically pleasing, than B or C or whomever. We are, then, some distance away from the purity of winning a downhill skiing event, a biathlon or, for that matter, a hockey game. 

Now I hasten to state there is nothing wrong with having an aesthetic event that is so judged. It is just a different sort of animal than a non-aesthetic event. I would then gently suggest a possible solution to illustrate this difference. I would do this through the Olympic medals themselves. The "pure" events would remain as they are, but medals given out at aesthetic events be engraved with a small "A" in the middle.*

This makes sense to me, and now we have four objectives: fastest, highest, strongest, and, wait for it  -- prettiest.

Problem solved.

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The good Lady is being a bit coy here with her "A" suggestion. I am almost certain she had Nathaniel Hawthorne's Hester Prynne in mind. -- Ed.

Wisdom and the Visual

Just returned from Ottawa, where I was squiring around three nice people from Paris, art connoisseurs and acquaintances of my close friend, the Compte de Rienville.* They had expressed an interest in viewing work done by Canada's Group of Seven. I was happy to oblige, knowing full well that Canada's National Gallery was not the Louvre.

The trip was a success, but what I would like to write about in this column is a discussion that took place over teas and scones at the Chateau Laurier afterwards. The topic was visual "art" that the public loved, and yet was rarely seen in a gallery. The quotation marks used in the previous sentence indicate that these examples would not be considered art in the usual sense.

Some of the examples given by my three guests were rather esoteric and European -- an advertisement showing Venus rising from the foam of a toothpaste bottle, or (in an "art is fun" exhibition some time ago)  Picasso's folded clock coming to life and being chased by Lewis Carroll's Alice as that 'very late' creature headed for his rabbit hole.

You can see how this stuff would stick in the mind.

My own examples were much more prosaic, although I still thought them memorable.

I mentioned the scene from the film, Ben Hur, where one could see  Stephen Boyd, the loser in the chariot race, being dragged away  all bloody and beaten up, but with a Bulova Accutron very, very visible on his wrist. Or in Franco Zefirelli's magnificent Romeo and Juliet, the opening shot of the street in  16th century Verona, all hot and dusty, the houses and shops close together, save for one towards the top of the screen -- a Volkswagen dealership.

"Oh", said my new found friends, "but those examples are all from films. Not quite what we meant."

"Well, I have others," I said. I then relayed an example from last week, where the TV Show, Saturday Night Live, showed Pope Francis at a Vatican window, releasing two doves of peace. A crow and a gull immediately attacked them.

"Nothing really funny there," my companions said.

"True," I admitted, "but what was funny was the sequence that followed showing Pope Benedict at a window further away, releasing said gull and crow and cackling darkly,"You go for it, my pretties."

"Now that's more like it," they stated.

I concluded with bringing out and showing them the latest cover of The Economist** where the editors were summing up the forthcoming Olympics in Sochi. There you could see Vladimir Putin as an ice dancer, doing a magnificent pirouette, while his pretty partner had fallen awkwardly right on her prat, cracking the ice. She wore a sweater entitled "Russia".

All admitted that would be a tough one to beat.

They were right.

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*A VERY CLOSE friend.  -- Ed.

** Issue dated February 1 -- 7, 2014. -- Ed.

Running Programs At A Loss

"Neither snow or rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds."

The above, of course, is the motto for the United States Postal Service, and, to some extent, serves as a motto for any other mail delivery service. I quote it here because the service forgot about one thing that could prevent all those noble objectives being achieved -- government meddling.

Now in the past I have had some issues with the postal service, particularly with the Canadian Union of Postal Employees, or its better known acronym, CUPW. 

My issue, however, extends beyond CUPW, and has to do with any public (as opposed to private) unions. To be specific, no public union should have the right to strike. In that three parties are involved -- management, union members and the public, it is the latter that suffers. As I phrased it once in a court hearing, this was a "slaughter of the innocents". Goodness, even school children have been held as ransom by over-zealous teachers' unions.

But I digress from the point I wish to make.

The government in its wisdom -- stop laughing, you elected these bozos -- wishes to cut postal service in Canada because, as a spokesman said, "It is running at too great a loss."

Let's stop right there, and think for a moment. First, ALL government programs run "at a loss". This is why we have taxes. Secondly, these programs all have service at their core, not profit*. Health care, as an example, is provided for all, but entails a huge fiscal loss. So does the maintenance of Canadian armed forces, as well as the provision of country-wide infrastructure in the form of roads, bridges, sewers and the like. All of these programs run "at a loss".**

In terms of the postal service, the question then arises, is the "loss" too great, particularly when the use of the service is in decline owing to technological advance, particularly e-mail.

This is a valid question.

The government's solution? Curtail door- to- door service, and create "hubs" where mail can be retrieved from personal boxes.

Yet it must be remembered that those who will be hurt most by this, individual posties and invalid seniors, had nothing to do with causing the situation. The only saving grace in this whole mess is that job loss will be through attrition rather than abrupt firing.

But it is a pity the government acted so hastily, since this would have been a fine opportunity to bring the public into the decision-making process. Could mail be delivered only twice a week? Could regulations be put in place that would ensure a proper privatization of the service?  Could there be a delineation of certain areas that the "hub" approach wouldn't work, for example, the rural north? Could there have been another way to bring costs down?

In one sense, then, the issue itself was a "loss".

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*It is truly horrific that the profit motif serves as the foundation for U.S. health care. How on earth can U.S. citizens stomach those who make money from sick people? -- LSS.

** So does the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, but its service role seems to have totally disappeared into a Liberal Party black hole. --LSS.

Fairy Tales Cavorting With Social Media

Social media is really getting out of hand.

This came to my attention when my daughter Victoria informed me that I was being vilified on the Internet as a main supporter of fostering cruel treatment of geese.

"What on earth are you talking about?" I replied. "I cannot ever remember being for cruelty towards birds, animals, or whatever. The only group I have been vilifying recently are the sub-humans that comprise Al-Qaeda. Someone, or some group, is playing silly buggers."

"Just have a look, Mum. On U-Tube. Under "goose"."

I did, and there I saw posted a video of a flock of geese, along with a diatribe against me and my alleged support of their treatment in making pate de foie gras. I was baffled, and turned to an IT specialist who might be able to determine where this all had originated.

The specialist, my Israeli colleague Rachel from my days in The Trade, was expert in her ability to hack into most anything.* She herself was intrigued, and went at the task with a vengeance.

What emerged was the following.

Apparently someone with cruelty to geese as a "Cause" was at a dinner party some weeks ago where I had led a conversation on the importance of fairy tales in assessing and understanding current political trends and figures. In buttressing this point of view, I had drawn on two sources, Bruno Bettelheim's The Uses of Enchantment and -- wait for it -- Mother Goose.

The first source gave a certain academic gravitas to my position; the second allowed all present to recall familiar examples. What had never occurred to me is that someone could so mis-interpret my citing of Mother Goose into a position favouring the practice of force-feeding geese.

Rachel at that point rather exceeded her authority, inserting some  heavily photo shopped pictures of a number of animal rights proponents in various pornographic positions into my accuser's Facebook page, then drawing this to the attention of senior officials in the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or, as it is commonly known, PETA.

"That should keep him busy for awhile." she said with some satisfaction.

I had no doubt. I mean, what I was about was really innocence itself, drawing parallels between politicians and those fairy tales that best encapsulated their essence. Jack and Jill, for instance, recalling Dalton McGuinty and Kathleen Wynne, or Humpty Dumpty recalling Rob Ford.

No geese in sight.

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* Rachel's astounding ability to hack has led at least three intelligence organizations to engage in a world-wide manhunt (womanhunt?). She remains at large, and only a very few know precisely where she is. The Lady is one of those. -- Ed.

Explaining The Delay

Apologies for the latest delay. Some four days ago, I opened up the spot where I correspond with you all, and was greeted with that wonderful Internet sentence, "THIS PAGE CANNOT BE DISPLAYED."

After saying "Up yours" and other like phrases, I began, along with a little help from my friends, to address the problem. Took five days to get things running again, and even now not even the techies could figure out why things suddenly collapsed. Maybe the NSA is finally on to me.

In any event, normal service will resume next Thursday or Friday, unless another attack is launched. For now, I leave you with the following:

With a single flick of microscopic cilium, a one-celled animal will propel a stream of microbes towards the next living logic gate. Another of humanity's dreams, long deemed impossible, will be realized: flesh and blood that actually thinks."*

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* James Marten in Datamation, April, 1984. Yes, I've used the citation before, but it can always stand repeating. -- LSS.

In Defense of Frugality

I didn't really want to go to the dinner party. I enjoy my neighbour Eustacia, but cannot say the same for some of the company she keeps -- a preponderance of left-leaning types. Why we hit it off so well is a bit of a mystery, although it may be that she requires a good conservative point of view to offset what she gets all the time from her crowd. In any event, I did not want to disappoint her.

Eustacia's friends tend to be from the University at which she teaches 19th century literature, with the works of Thomas Hardy her major interest. This did not surprise, given her name and numerous references to The Return of the Native. In fact, her father was -- but I am guilty of digression. Thomas Hardy will have to step aside for the moment. This is about taxpayers and frugality.

This topic emerged shortly after the formal dinner, at the port and liqueur phase of the event. A professor of political science,* whose stentorian tones had dominated most of the dinner, was confessing that he could not understand how Toronto's beleaguered Mayor, Rob Ford, could run for a second term.

"I also confess," he continued, "to being unable to explain how on earth the man is polling between 45% and 60% of voters, depending on what poll you look at. I mean, the man is a menace, an admitted user of crack cocaine, probably an alcoholic, and a vicious temper to boot. I confess it's a mystery."

"Well, " I put in, "I am happy to hear you confess so much. Very good for the soul, confession. Not enough of it around."

The Professor sniffed. "I wasn't so much talking about confession per se, but making a point about the unsuitability of the Mayor. His popularity remains a mystery."

"I don't find it so," I replied.

At this point Eustacia shot me a warning glance, but I was not going to let the Professor's views go unchallenged.

I said, "What a great many people, particularly in the fields of academe and the media, have lost sight of is the tremendous weight taxpayers give to the sound use of their money. The present Mayor is certainly, like Becky Sharp in Thackeray's Vanity Fair, "no angel,"** but he has never personally benefitted from any municipal funds, and, indeed, has brought the city a balanced budget while at the same time always stressing the importance of value for money. Taxpayers appreciate this frugality, and are loathe to return to an era where their money is used to benefit a councillor's pet project, rather than the city's needs. Surely you would agree.?"

"I continue to say the man is a menace."

There being little chance of a to and fro discussion being able to occur, and there I left it, to the palpable relief of Eustacia. Later, however, when most had departed, I asked her just what area of political science the Professor fancied himself an expert.

"Oh," Eustacia replied, "He's a noted scholar on Karl Marx."

And suddenly all became clear.

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* An oxymoron if there ever was one. -- LSS.

** I had deleted the Thackeray reference as unnecessary, but the Lady wanted Eustacia and the others who might read this missive to know that she was not exactly an ingénue when it came to English literature, and insisted in its inclusion. She can be insistent at times.... -- Ed.

Multiples of Multiples

A bit late with this post, given the nature of travel today, plus weather that was about as uncooperative as you can get. Oh, all was well in Hawaii. No, the problem was everywhere else. Even my strategy of chartering a corporate jet didn't pan out. Aimed at Toronto, got to Des Moines.

From that jewel of an Iowan town, we then tried again for Toronto, and this time at least made the Canadian border, then on to -- North Bay. Finally reached Toronto, where the airport was slowly getting back to normal after a behemoth of an ice storm.

What made all this bearable was a absorbing conversation with a Swedish diplomatic attaché who had been assigned to Ottawa, and had asked to accompany me. He had offered to cover all his expenses, but I waived any payment in this regard. You never know when you might need a Swedish friend. Besides, he knew mystery writer Henning Mankell, and we had a good discussion on just what drove Mankell's all-pervasive sense of gloom. Something to do with a type of meatball, but I digress.

What we also discussed was, to me, fascinating. My travelling companion mentioned the work of a little known but very brilliant geneticist, whose name I purposely refrain from mentioning. You will see why in a moment.

This geneticist has claimed proof that there are only twenty-three people in the world. The current world population, then, are multiples of these twenty-three basic types.

At first, I rejected this. I mean, really. Twenty-three out of billions?

Further reflection, however, gave me pause.  I recalled an incident not that long ago where I thought I saw my Aunt Maud at an estate sale. (I was after a Modigliani that I knew was on offer.) I leaned forward and in a too loud voice said,  "Hey, Maudie, it's me!"

The woman turned, annoyed, and I realized it wasn't my aunt, but a complete stranger. I apologized, but the resemblance was uncanny.
I then remembered several other instances where something similar had occurred. Multiples. Goodness, what if the geneticist is right?
And, dear reader, I invite you to think of any instances in your own experience. Just for devilment, say.

Oh, and I was successful in obtaining the Modigliani.

A Short Christmas Break

The good Lady has decided that a Christmas holiday is in order. This decision was made a tad easier by her reception of an invitation, all expenses paid, to address a Conference on the importance of poetry within a context of politics.

I was not surprised that she accepted the invitation. Lady Simone has always believed that a politician skilled in the knowledge of poetry would be a far more effective server of the public than one from a background in the law or worse, political science -- to her an oxymoron.

She has entitled her address, riffing on Alexander Pope, "Poetry is Politics, to best Advantage dressed / What oft was thought, but ne'er so well expressed."

The fact that the Conference is in Honolulu I'm sure did not affect the Lady's decision to give the paper.

On the other hand, given Toronto's slow recovery from a vicious ice storm, perhaps the decision was affected just a teeny little bit.

The Lady will be back in form next week.

-- The Editor.

A Little Exploration on the Number Forty

While I now try to consciously avoid any thinking about the current fiscal mess now rampant in Ontario, now and then something so bizarre breaks through that it is impossible to ignore.

Such is the case with the that jewel in the Liberal Party crown, the Ontario Power Generation Company (O.P.G.) and its use of the number forty.

Now "forty" has a long history. There is, for instance, the forty years Moses and the Israelites spent in the wilderness, or so the  Bible tells us. In the present day, we speak of a nap of "forty winks", and a score of forty-forty in tennis -- three wins apiece --  is equal to "deuce", at which point a player must take two consecutive games to claim victory. And Canadians of a certain age will remember Rompin' Ronnie Hawkins belting out "She'll be back home in forty days."

For our purposes today, however, I will draw on yet another reference, to wit: the Arabian tale of Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves.

This careened into my mind when I, more by accident than design, stumbled upon the fact that the OPG management included FORTY VICE PRESIDENTS.*

This was hard to believe, and became even harder when I learned that while all made salaries in the six figure range, there were no titles to go along with the term aside from three: VP, Finance; VP, Operations and VP, Human Resources.**

What would the others be called? VP, Alternating Current would be one, which would lead to VP Direct Current. There could be a VP for Isotopes,  a "Heavy Water" VP, a VP that looked after certain flora and fauna that had become radioactive -- well, the list could go on, and I will leave this little exercise in the hand of my capable readers.

Given the horrific state of OPG finances, and the frightening electricity bills that are starting to be delivered to Ontario homes and businesses, I don't think I'm far off the mark when I draw attention to a slightly updated version of the old tale, as with "Kathleen Wynne and the Forty Thieves."

There. I'm done.

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* I was researching a number of American Vice-Presidents at the time. Isn't it interesting that the most powerful nation on earth only requires ONE Vice-President, while the OPG requires forty. --LSS

** The term "Human Resources" is fairly recent, and replaces the term "Personnel Department." Very much a step backward in my opinion. Resources can be used, then thrown out. It is a titch more difficult to do when you cannot escape the fact that these are people with whom you are being so cavalier. -- Ed.

Ukraine: A Modest Proposal

Bohdan, who manages my sugar beet holdings located near Kiev, was somewhat concerned about the recent protest movement that has erupted in Kiev's main square. This revolt had led to certain logistic difficulties with respect to sugar beet exports, and my bottom line was beginning to suffer.

I agreed instantly with Bohdan that this was unacceptable. A world without sugar beets? Unthinkable. 

The cause of all this fuss can be directly traced to Ukraine's leader, Viktor Yanukovych, and his decision not to engage in closer trade ties with the European Union. (E.U.)

Instead, he has sought the dubious comfort of Vladimir Putin's Russia, feeling more at home in the grip of the Russian bear than in the E.U.'s democratic embrace. The fact that Putin had threatened to turn off the gas of course had nothing to do with the decision.

This decision, Bohdan tells me, was greeted with approval in the eastern part of Ukraine, while those in the western part were appalled. And herein lies the grounds for the modest proposal referred to in the title of this report.

"East is East and West is West" wrote Rudyard Kipling, "and never the twain shall meet." Taking these words to heart, I would suggest that Viktor could appease the Russian bear (at least for the moment -- it is, after all, a Russian bear) by agreeing to sit down with the protesters and negotiate TWO SEPARATE COUNTRIES.

Think about it. Eastern Ukraine always has been closer to Russia than those in the Western half of the country, speak Russian more than Ukrainian, and are extremely conservative in thought and deed, totally content with not much happening at all. In Russia, but not of it, as it were. And Viktor could, a la Putin, be some kind of President for life. Happiness forever.

This split may not go down with a number of young people in the East. They can, however, follow newspaper editor Horace Greeley's advice: "Go West, young man." and move. The West speaks actual Ukrainian rather than Russian, and even is sticking a linguistic toe into English. An agreement with the E.U. would suit many just fine, and while there is some distance to go, the best way to learn how democracy works is to practice it.

Worth a try, anyway.

Oh, and while we're about it, let Yulia out of prison. If Viktor is happily reigning in the East, he, like Rhett Butler, frankly wouldn't give a damn.

The Runaways, Or A Brief Look At Premier Wynne and (ex) Premier McGuinty.

I don't watch a great deal of television, but one program caught my eye, a scientific exploration of electronic entanglement and Bell's Theorem, dealing with what Einstein called "spooky action at a distance". In another post, I might get into just what that's all about, but for this week's topic, I was quite taken with one of the commercials.

The advertisement shows the Premier of Ontario, Kathleen Wynne, clad in jogging gear and running, running, running in the countryside, the message being to show she is fit and able.  Then something else struck me. I could barely make out, towards the edge of the screen, the leading edge of a horde of enraged Ontario taxpayers, pitchforks and torches in hand, in hot pursuit.

Now the ad made sense.

Yet Kathleen's running was not the whole story. The ghastly deficit position of Ontario was partly her fault -- she signed off on stuff she shouldn't have -- but it was her superior at the time, Dalton McGuinty, who must shoulder most of the blame. This did not come about because he was evil or unscrupulous, but rather that he had put his faith in those who (and I am being kind here) didn't repay that faith with sound projects and good policy.*

McGuinty in this context is an almost too perfect example of W. H. Auden's The Average Man. There the subject of the poem, raised to be a Number One, finds himself in the following position:

So here he was without maps or supplies
A hundred miles from any decent town;
The desert glared into his blood-shot eyes;

The silence roared displeasure: looking down,
He saw the shadow of an Average Man
Attempting the exceptional, and ran.

And run he did.

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* Here one thinks of the e-Health fiasco, the Ornge helicopter fraud, and the horrific expenses incurred in the gas plant removal in order to retain Liberal seats. Costs to taxpayers have amounted to some billion and a half dollars. No wonder there's so much running away. Poor Ontario.




 

Getting And Spending

In the poem The World Is Too Much With Us, William Wordsworth wrote the following: "Getting and spending we lay waste our powers." This thought was very much in my mind as I accompanied my daughter Isolde on a rather arcane shopping expedition.

Now as attentive readers will remember (and which of you are not attentive) Isolde is a world ranked violinist of whom I am very proud. What she was shopping for was the sheet music for the first violin in Bach's Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor. This involved visiting a number of music stores in the city.  I never realized there were so many, albeit often squirrelled away in little cul de sacs and alleyways.

At each shop Isolde would inquire if the music were available. In the first three visited, it was not, but success was achieved in the fourth store visited, the dingiest of the bunch. All this took some time, for the proprietors were all knowledgeable where classical music was concerned, and at each stop Isolde delighted in conversing with them. This gave me plenty of time for reflection.

It was towards the end of November when this small expedition occurred, and a Christmas commercial push was everywhere to be seen. I thought this was way too early to be aiming to profit from a date a month away.

After all, the Winter solstice, the underlying reason for all the hoopla and rejoicing, doesn't occur until December 21. For much of our history, at least in Northern climes,  this was the time when the sun's light had reached its shortest light exposure. From this point, the light from the sun would increase, and continue to do so until June 21.

But you knew all that. Certainly the Church Fathers knew it*, and it was a stroke of genius to piggyback a major Christian event -- the birth of Christ -- at the time of the solstice.

All of which is to say that there is something very, very wrong in scheduling all this Christmas getting and spending so early. The motive, of course, is commercial success. The irony here is that the person's birth being celebrated, when an adult, took the time to throw moneychangers out of the temple in which they were involved in just such commercial success.

All somewhat sad, but I took heart from lines from another poem, a bit more recent than Wordsworth's, Dr. Seuss' The Grinch Who Stole Christmas : "Maybe Christmas. he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas. he thought, means a little bit more".

And there I will leave it.


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* There were, at least after the first Council of Nicea, no Church Mothers. Jerome and Augustine saw to that. The two saints, however, had much less success against the Virgin Mary. Even they couldn't win them all. -- LSS.

Investgative Reporting: Then and Now

There was a time when public media took the time to bore deeply into an issue, leaving its readers and listeners well informed in whatever topic was being explored. Should there have been any chicanery involved, it too saw the light of day. That time has, sadly, passed.

Before proceeding further, however, I want to make a distinction between what I would term 'investigative reporting' and 'cursory reporting'. The former resulted in such things as Pulitzer Prizes; the latter, with its focus on 'personalities' often resulted in wider circulation or a greater audience along with a concomitant financial benefit to the owners of said media. Guess which of these two has grown and prospered?

Thus we see no more of such writing as Daniel Ellsberg did his treatment of The Pentagon Papers or the work of Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward and their in-depth approach to the whole Watergate fiasco. Facts were researched, sources confirmed* and a logical approach prevailed.

Currently, however, cursory reporting is now front and centre, and we are the poorer for it. The role of the Canadian Senate, its history and mandate, is spurned in order to vilify the Mac Harbs and Mike Duffys of the world. (There are other senators involved, but you get my point.) And in Toronto, it is Rob Ford, not the role of the Toronto City Council, that receives all the attention.

Now admittedly Mayor Ford is a gigantic train wreck and desperately needs help, something only a few of his fellow councillors have stressed. And if there were nothing else in Ontario of importance, then the media might be excused for its tunnel vision regarding all things Ford.

That is far from being the case.

The state of finances in Ontario border on the frightening, largely due to the ghastly policies of the provincial Liberal party. This aspect should be receiving far greater attention than it has from the media, particularly when incompetence coupled with political greed (the gas plant move to save two Liberal ridings) has cost roughly one billion taxpayer dollars. I wonder what Ellsberg, Bernstein or Woodward would make of this horrific boondoggle?

 Our media today, however, is Rob Ford ALL THE TIME.

And Mayor Ford has not cost Toronto taxpayers one red cent.

Bah. Humbug.

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*Admittedly, 'Deep Throat" was a rather murky source. But as Bernstein and Woodward once put it, "Needs must".

TV Or Not TV. That Is The Question.

A day late with this, and it's all Matilda Hatt's fault. My friend and colleague from The Trade dropped in unexpectedly, and we lost track of time as we reminisced about our past adventures while (strange, this) watching TV. 

Of late, I have been revising my opinion on television, although I am aware of the fact that the word is half Greek and Half Latin, and hence it would be unlikely that any good would come of it. But, as Tilly pointed out, there are glimmers of things actually worth watching. Her posting to England has introduced her to British television and such things as a show on midwives (never going to happen in America, given that country's insane health care policy, Obamacare notwithstanding), the fast-paced Graham Norton show (Leno and company would be left in the dust) and of course, Downton Abbey.

I admitted her point, but I had also done a bit of reversal from my earlier regard of television as hopeless and an insult to anyone of intelligence. While North America really couldn't stay on a par with Britain in terms of the medium, nevertheless we were making strides.

These strides come about through  cable or satellite "specialty channels", the most prominent in my opinion being HBO. Here one can experience such interesting offerings as "Mad Men", Boardwalk Empire", "True Blood" and the completely over the top "Game of Thrones." This is about as far from 'reality TV' as you can get, a very welcome thing.

And there are other such channels. One is the Christian Network (CTS) and it surprisingly carries repeats of 'The West Wing", a show that illustrates what the United States could accomplish if under the guidance of a competent President. That, however, is about as far as that network will go. Well, you would hardly expect a Christian-supported network to broadcast "The Borgias", would you?

So, in a world containing 3D movies, computers, the Internet, video games, I-pods and goodness knows what else, TV continues to play its corner, and doing it a bit better than in the past.

And put together, all of the above almost equal a fibre-based CD ROM; that is, a book.

Almost.

Going To School On Scandals

Apologies to playwright Richard Sheridan for the title of this week's missive, but my intent here is to rank in order of cost to taxpayers the plethora of scandals that seem to have erupted in Canada. Mind you, Canada is not unique in this regard -- think of the current Tea Party legislative gridlock in the U.S., the LIBOR mess in the U.K., or any and all political activity in Italy -- but the Canadian stuff is, given its rather staid and somewhat boring history, rather unusual.*

Number 1. In terms of taxpayer cost, according to government audits, such costs are in the neighbourhood of one billion dollars plus and the winner (if that is not too awkward a term) is undoubtedly the provincial Liberal Party of Ontario. Cancelling gas plant construction and paying a staggering penalty will do that. Add in incredible incompetence involving medical helicopter acquisition and the botching of an electronic health system, well, as former Leaf owner Harold Ballard once put it, "a million here, a million there, and pretty soon the money adds up."

Unbelievably, this government is still in power, with legal actions pursued against -- no one.

Number 2. A close second would be the City of Montreal, where organized crime has raked off a high percentage of public construction money. The current enquiry into all this estimates that several million dollar somehow found their way into various pockets, with the favoured method of transportation being brown paper bags.

Montreal is now on its third Mayor within the year.

Number 3. Step forward the Canadian Senate. Various transgressions of Senators, particularly Patrick Brazeau, Mac Harb, Pamela Wallin and Mike Duffy, have cost taxpayers some $300.000, although at the time of this writing, the audit on the matter is still under way.

Number 4. Toronto's Mayor, the rotund Rob Ford, has been accused of a multitude of sins, from not understanding the right of the press to invade his personal privacy to being rude and short of temper. Charges of alcoholism have surfaced, and Ford himself has confessed to taking crack cocaine. It is becoming more and more apparent that the man should step down, not just for Toronto's sake, but for his own.

The Number 4 ranking is given, however, because Ford is a fiscal conservative, has a deep regard for the taxpayer, has saved Toronto several million dollars, and has cost taxpayers not a red cent.

Things are rarely black and white.

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* The good Lady is in my opinion overly dismissive of Canadian history and its tendency to boredom. The life of Louis Riel is drama incarnate (Harry Somers wrote an opera on the man, for goodness sakes!) the true story of Adam Dollard as researched by Donald Creighton is gripping, and then there is that Canadian take on Romeo and Juliet involving Pierre Sevigny and Gerda Munsinger.
Enough said.

A Political Conversation

Of late, a term has come into use that is irritating in the extreme, or at least irritating to me.

Herewith my gripe.

From time to time (actually not often enough) politicians are confronted with the results of a bad decision, or were queried on why nothing has been done to resolve a long-standing issue. In the past, you always had a chance of obtaining an answer or being presented with a possible course of action.

Not so today. Now we get a response that the politician is engaging in a "conversation" about the issue, or intends to have such a "conversation" on the topic. With whom that "conversation is" to be held is vague, but in the mind of the politician, the response appears serious and action-oriented, and they to a man (or woman) are ecstatic about stumbling upon such a weasel word.

To my way of thinking, based on Aristotle's Nichomachean Ethics, this response is both misleading and immoral. Misleading because it suggests indefinite future action , and immoral because it takes an honest request for information and betrays that request.
 
After all, what really is a conversation? At its simplest, it is an exchange of views on a topic. For our purposes it matters not a whit what that topic is, be it on mosaic tiles, sycamore trees, rogue seals or whatever. The heart of the matter is the exchange of information.

What, pray tell, is being exchanged when a politician responds to a request or clarification on an issue, and offers the reply that "We are shortly going to have a conversation about that."

What on earth does that mean? I certainly do not know, but I am certain that  a specific answer to the query or clarification request is highly unlikely to emerge from "the conversation".

Aristotle, who held politicians in high regard, would be appalled.

Time, then, for readers to engage in their own conversations on this issue. 


 

Ill Chosen Words

I have returned from France, where I enjoyed myself immensely, aided and abetted by the Compte de Rienville and Parisian haute cuisine.*  I wanted to "stay in the mood" as it were, and thus for this week's post will avoid getting enmeshed in the trials and tribulations that afflict countries at the present. Rather, I should like to draw to the reader's attention some words and phrases that really should never have employed in the manner that they presently exist.

Here are three examples.

Blimp. This word is particularly ill-suited to its purpose. Think about it. It hits one's ears as "be limp", thus urging a state of collapse and not what you want in your mind if you are hundreds of metres above the ground. In this interpretation it also has unfortunate sexual connotations -- but enough said. A better choice: dirigible.

Fracking. Environmentalists have a field day with this term, and justly so. Now in this post I am not here to get into the pros and cons of fracking, but to lament the easy attack avenue offered by the term. I have often seen in publications damning the process the phrase "fracking the earth" as if the earth was some helpless damsel in distress, and in danger of losing her virtue.

There may be a case to be made here, but the term makes it too easy to attack. A better choice: Horizontal retrieval.

Idle No More. This phrase, used by Canada's First Nations to drum up support for their cause, borders on the silly. If you look at it in terms of semantics, it avers that the First Nations tribes were once idle, but now are not.  Is this the image First Nations wish to project?  Have Tecumseh and Joseph Brant been forgotten?

That's the trouble with not thinking these things through. So former Congresswoman Bella Abzug, who had no use for the term "housewife" because it implies a wife (or wives) somewhere else.
In the case of the First Nations, a better choice would be Dependent No More.

Of course, using language with skill and ability is difficult, and one can easily get carried away into nonsense. Here is the 18th Century Irish legislator Sir Boyle Roche commenting on things to come: "All along the untrodden paths of the future I can see the footprints of an unseen hand."

I rest my case.

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* I offered the good Lady the observation that haute cuisine could also mean eating a meal on the moon. She threw Jamie Oliver's latest book at me. -- Ed.

The Throne Speech: A Bridge Too Far?

Historically, the Speech From The Throne in a parliamentary democracy is an outline of what the government of the day intends to enact during its legislative term. There is a fair amount of pomp and pageantry connected with this event, including a formal parade of MP's entering the Senate Chamber* led by the Black Rod (Google the term) with the Prime Minister and Governor General (representing the Queen) close behind.

The substance of the Speech is invariably vague, and specific details of the proposals and their budgetary implications follow at a later date. If ever. Thus there is much spoken about how fiscally responsible the government is, how the deficit will be curtailed, how all classes of society will benefit, and, this being a Conservative government, how the Middle Class will receive specific attention in terms of supporting policies.

All lovely. All non-specific and fuzzy.

With one exception.

But first, a small digression. In the British TV program "Yes, Minister" whenever Minister Hackett would propose something real, needed and comprehensible, his Secretary, Sir Humphrey Appleby, would look at him warily and state, "Oh, that's bold, Minister. Bold!"

This reaction would worry Hackett, and shortly after, following some brilliant dialogue,  the initiative would be scrapped.

Our Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, has had a similar "bold" moment, with no Sir Humphrey in sight to warn him.

The issue? Allowing the electorate to pick and choose and pay for only the TV channels they wish. This is instantly understood by the electorate -- we are not talking here of the role of long term debentures as a debt reducing strategy -- and, only one day after the speech, I have it on good authority that cable and satellite companies are already being swamped by clients with their selections already in hand, and happily totting up the cost savings.

What the PM didn't stress was the length of time this would take. The channel providers will fight this initiative as hard as they can -- dollars are at stake, as well as (you can be sure) immense "technical difficulties" in bringing this about.

With no Sir Humphrey around to help in dealing with the outcry as the electorate realizes that such channel selection will be very slow or not coming about at all, the PM will have no course but to hurl the whole mess into the lap of the Canadian Radio-television Telecommunications Commission. The CRTC will then takes it usual glacial time in examining this, funding a number of 'exploratory studies on the importance of Canadian content' done by the likes of Maud Barlow or David Suzuki, and then holding a number of hearings on the issue (at various plush hotels).

Thus when this comes about (more likely if) we are probably talking somewhere around 2019 or 2020. If we're lucky.

And while the electorate will forgive a lot, on this issue they won't.

Mind you, if the PM has staked his career on this, and the channel providers are being hopelessly intransigent, there is always the War Measures Act..... 

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*It is remotely conceivable that this Chamber will not be in existence for any future Speech From The Throne. One can but hope -- L.S.S.

Good Things Do Not Grow, In Ontario

To Paris, and then to the chateau of the Compte de Rienville for a sorely needed change of venue.  Ontario at this point in time is a rather grim place, what with a totally incompetent government (Liberals) in charge, a fiscal deficit that mounts daily, and an opposition that refuses to bring the government down (NDP) or is saddled with an unelectable leader (Conservatives).

Moreover, I find it incredible that the media appear far more concerned with the peccadilloes of  Toronto's Mayor, Rob Ford, and devote much less attention to the follies of the provincial government. The latest folly: a gas plant removal project costing Ontario taxpayers over ONE BILLION DOLLARS.

On the other hand, Mayor Ford has saved Toronto taxpayers a swatch of money by sound budgeting and the elimination of a slew of unnecessary expenses done under the rubric of "We the Council know what's best for you." This is social engineering at its worst, and I, for one, am glad to see its demise.

You can see, then, why I was glad to remove myself from all this sturm und drang and settle nicely into the arms of -- well, we won't go there.

After some needed... er... recreation, the Compte opined on all my concerns, stating that much of the mess in the world today can be traced to being enslaved by ideology.

"For instance," he said, "in your Ontario case, the ideology would be that of hanging on to power at whatever the cost. Wasn't there some by-election stuff involved?"

"There was,' I replied "and a billion dollars seems a bit pricey for two seats."

"Not if you have forsworn your integrity for an ideology that sees staying in office as not only an important thing, but the only thing."

But I had enough of doom and gloom, and left to put on a certain outfit I knew the Compte liked. After all, I was not going to let the side down as we entered the Tour d'Argent. I was even preparing a toast to its possible founder, Henri IV. Thus my ideology: Without harming others, get as much happiness as you can.

Works for me.

Two Oddities

In reviewing the past week, a week that was certainly not (as John Cameron Swazye would have put it) "filled with those events that alter and illuminate our times," two rather odd things stood out.

1) The first involves the government of the United States of America. Or rather, the non-government, I find it truly amazing that Washington D.C. has become a synonym for a children's playground. with a game of "I'm the king of the castle" in full swing. Normally, this might produce a gigantic yawn and a tired, "So what". Unfortunately, this game has brought aspects of the federal government to a screeching halt because Congress appears unable to pass a day-to-day operating budget.

Of course, it takes two to tango, and thus we have the Republicans willing to pass said budget if only the Democrats and President Obama remove his already passed health care bill. As a sop, the Republicans said that implantation of the bill should be postponed for a year. The Democrats (at least most of them) refused, leading to the present gridlock.

Salaries and benefits of a slew of federal workers have come to a stop, and certain federal areas such as the National Parks, the Smithsonian, and various museums have ceased to function, I also bring to your attention the fact that the salaries and benefits of the senators and congressional representatives continue, as swell their continued enrolment in what really is a gold-plated health care plan. Of course, they are the nation's 'leaders' and hence above all such strictures.

An odd situation indeed.

2) In a more light-hearted vein, I turn to the second oddity. At present, THE TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS ARE IN FIRST PLACE IN THE ENTIRE NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE, EASTERN AND WESTERN DIVISIONS! This would seem to bode well for a Stanley Cup in 2014.*

Now, as Samuel Pepys would write in is Diary, "And so to bed."

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* Or not. The Leafs have only played two games, the most of any of the other clubs, and there are 80 yet to be played. Still, the optimism of the Lady is heartening, -- Ed.

Whither Thou Goest

Something I don't usually do is go to cocktail parties, but the hostess once had done me a huge favour in terms of providing a safe harbour for a yacht that the KGB was searching for (and enough said about that) therefore I agreed to attend.

What irritates me about such events is the fact that the "mingle" aspect works against any lengthy, meaningful conversation. I find it upsetting that just as you are learning something interesting (the odd life cycle of the duck-billed platypus)  or delving into a complex subject (the impossibility of political truth) the hostess, alarmed at the animated conversation, suddenly appears, saying "Oh Simone, you must meet this friend of mine, a philosopher. He's discovered a new order of things!"

I succumbed, and quickly discerned that what this individual had 'discovered' in terms of a new order of things was, in the words of Franklin Roosevelt, "not new, and not order."

I withdrew as quickly as I could, and began edging towards the exit. I had almost made it when the hostess again intervened, introducing me to an immigration specialist and devout Christian (odd little combination) who was all hot and bothered about three individuals who were seeking Canadian citizenship, but were refusing to give the required oath of allegiance to the Queen. A provincial appeals judge had denied their request, indicating that the oath was mandatory and constitutionally overrode the Charter of Rights in this instance.

"Ridiculous," she said. "Simply ridiculous. Not a Christian thing to do."

"I replied, "I couldn't agree more. Sounds like the judge has done his or her homework, although I'm surprised that the three had not been advised of this before. I wonder to what country they have gone?"

"What on earth do you mean? They are still here, and hope to lodge an appeal to the Supreme Court."

"But why would they do that?" I asked, although I was beginning to suspect that I was hurling a broken lance into the fray."Canada is a monarchy, and the three have every right to say that saying the oath is a deal breaker, and they will seek a more accommodating country. I would. Wouldn't you?"

"That's not the point --"

"Oh, but it very much is. I mean, if I choose to emigrate to a country, I will expect to adapt to that country's customs and laws, if for no other reason. Now you as a practicing Christian, I'm sure you recall Ruth 1:16.

The woman hesitated, and then said "Something about going somewhere.....I can't recall specifically."

"Specifically" I continued, the verse goes as follows: "And Ruth said, 'Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.' I doubt that Ruth would have objected to taking the oath. Good example of Christian womanhood, wouldn't you say?"

But she had fled.

What If Putin Is Right?

A bit late this week, but I have been wrestling with a rather thorny issue, to wit: Is Vladimir Putin correct when he states that Bashar al-Assad did not use Sarin gas against those rebelling against his regime? If so, a great number of states are going to be in a very awkward position, a position akin to suddenly finding a tarantula on a wedding cake. The United States in particular would be embarrassed.

What set me down this path was a communication from a Middle Eastern source who has proved reliable in the past. She had discovered (never mind how) that there was a great deal of confusion about the gas attack. As the United Nations Report has indicated, it is beyond doubt that Sarin gas was used, and that it was in its ghastly way very effective. No one disputes this finding.

But there is an elephant in the room that is becoming more and more visible. In short, the 'why' of the matter is confusing, and this leads to some puzzles with respect to the 'how' of the matter.
It is truly unfortunate that the U.N. Report is vague on these issues.

Let me explain.

In any analysis of a situation, one key question should drive the exploration -- Who benefits? In this case, certainly not Assad, for by using Sarin gas in this manner he brings down much of the world's wrath upon his head. And had there been a different U.S. President, who meant what he said when a "red line" was crossed, a bombing campaign by now would be well under way. * No, the true beneficiaries would be the rebels.

But the rebels are fighting FOR the people of Syria, and would be loath to take up arms against those who were, in every sense of the term, defenceless. If not the rebels, then who? Who could possibly in such a terrible way attack such as these?

Well, recent events, not the least of which was the destruction of New York's twin towers. indicate that there is a group that wouldn't bat an eye at harming innocents -- the sub-humans that comprise Al-Qaeda and its horrific offshoots. And my source indicates that the Syrian rebels have been thoroughly infiltrated by Al-Qaeda fanatics.

And the benefit? To ensure that Assad feels the full brunt of U.S. military might.

As to the 'how' of the matter, my source has come across a not entirely redacted section of a U.N. e-mail where only the word 'Molotov" can be discerned. She suspects that the term refers to Molotov cocktails and suggests that this was the means by which the Sarin gas was released And, interesting this, the U.N. found no evidence of the type of canisters that could have been dropped by aircraft.

All this is, of course, speculation, and food for thought. If proved wrong, though, Putin will come off as an untrustworthy clown. He would know this, and I would doubt he would risk being so laughed off the stage. No Pagliacci he, and this commedia is far from finita.

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* Teddy Roosevelt would not have hesitated an instant. Given the substance of this post, Barack Obama may have done precisely the right thing. -- L.S.S.

From Russia With Love

My esteemed colleague from the old KGB, Svetlana Marinskaya, was in town, and asked me if she could stay at the Manor for one or two days.

I was glad to accommodate her -- the Compte was stuck in Paris fretting over the Syria debacle -- and I was, well, somewhat out of sorts. I did inquire if she was in a spot of trouble.

"You could say that," she admitted. "Hotels would be out of the question, but the security of your Manor -- "

"Quite. Do come ahead."

Shortly afterwards, Svetlana was ensconced in my study, content with a serious vodka martini, and full of a rather amazing story. Apparently Vladimir Putin has just written an op-ed piece for the New York Times that has caused quite a stir. It stresses his ability as a "peacemaker" in contrast to the "warmongering" of the U.S.A. He even cites Bashar al-Assad's agreement to turn over to Russia any chemical weapons left over from previous regimes, and thanks Putin for his assistance in ending the crisis in Syria.

"That's sheer rubbish." I stated. "And as I recall Putin's written for The Times before, in 1999 I think*, defending his decision to send soldiers into Chechnya."

"True", said Svetlana," but there's more."

"Thought there might be. Probably why you want a few days at the Manor. Off the grid, as it were. Anyway, continue."

"Well, you remember Gregor Kronski?"

"Best forger you lot have. Probably still beavering away at something."

Svetlana gave me a look bordering on smugness. "You'll never guess what he's working on now."

"Well?"

"A birth certificate for Putin. Shows he was born in North Dakota, someplace called Fargo. And along with that I discovered the rudiments of a plan to approach various groups instrumental in the American electoral process."

"What groups?" I asked.

"Oh, the list is an interesting one. There is  the Tea Party, various prominent Republicans, the N.R.A., certain financial interests -- it goes on."

I was flabbergasted. "You don't really believe that he's aiming to run in the 2016 election, do you?"

"When certain Party officials discovered that I had found these lists, I had to run away very fast. My action was taken very seriously, and it's why I'm glad to be here."

"I leaned forward, patted her knee. "This will all die down fairly quickly my good friend. Not to worry. You've forgotten that while Putin likes the limelight, he hates the drudgery of work. In fact, it was you who told me of Putin's favourite quote from Ronald Reagan.

"I've forgotten, What quote?"

"Reagan said, 'It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?' You can rest assured that Putin won't take that chance either."

At least I don't think he will.

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* The Lady is correct. -- Ed.

Inching Towards Optimism

I should not have done it, of course. While doing some research on a possible attack by radioactive nematodes for Sir Harry, I stumbled across these lines from Yeats (The name of the poem escapes me.) *

"Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity."

Thinking about these lines so depressed me that I needed some succour, some cheering up. So off I went to the convent I support run by The Little Sisters Of Poverty And Pain. The nuns are atheistic to the core, but insist on doing good works; the good sisters also realize that those who "believe" receive great comfort from that belief,  and see no point in challenging that position.**

I met with Sister Aleda, the Mother superior of the Order. I got right to the point, reading the lines to her and indicating that Yeats had described the modern geopolitical situation perfectly, and, from that point of view, things looked totally hopeless.

"Yes," said Mother Superior.

" Not really a comforting reply," I answered.

"But" the good Mother continued, "that's just one point of view. There are others,"

"Perhaps," I said. "Yet it is difficult, or at least I find it difficult, to ignore the truth of the best lacking all conviction, and the worst being full of passionate intensity. Describes perfectly how democratic leaders do lack conviction, and Islamic jihadists are certainly full of passionate intensity."

"Not much you can do about that."

Mother Superior was beginning to irritate me. "You are not exactly offering heartfelt comfort."

"Then let's take another point of view, one that is more in your control."

"What do you mean?"

She went on to explain that actions that were under our control were the ones that really mattered, even if only a small circle of people were affected. And she asked me to think deeply on Margaret Mead's words, 'Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world, Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

Now THAT helped, and I left in a much better frame of mind, even thinking about ways to prevent what Yeats saw as an inevitable conclusion:

"And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born."

Food for thought indeed.

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* Didn't escape me. The title is The Second Coming, -- Ed.

** Until recently, the Vatican has attempted through various ways and means to shut the convent down. None worked, Now, however, things are different, The new Pope, Francis I, is much more liberal than his predecessor, and, amazingly, has a good sense of humour. He wrote to me personally on the matter of the convent, making the point that my and the nuns' atheism were akin to facing away from the Heavenly Gates, while at the same time our good works were backing us in to the Holy Edifice. Charming -- the man will go far. -- L.S.S.

The Syrian Conundrum and Britain

It was, I believe,  Napoleon who stated, "Never interrupt the enemy when he's making a mistake." I found this useful to keep in mind when assessing the ghastly situation in Syria.

That chemical weapons came into play is almost certain. Less certain, but not by much, is just who employed them, with a wide consensus pointing to the regime of Bashar al- Assad. The United States had indicated publicly that if this were the case, they would take action. Britain also indicated as much, to the chagrin of Russia, who supports Assad. (More on that later).

Canada has wisely stayed out of the whole mess, save for the provision of humanitarian aid.

A recent vote in the British House of Commons, however, went against the Prime Minister, David Cameron when it came to going to war with Syria. Shock all round. How could this happen? How could Cameron be seen letting his friend President Barack Obama, down in such a manner?

Well, in fact, he didn't. The MP's in the House of Commons did, something last seen in 1782*.  Looking at this result, and knowing full well that Cameron was not born yesterday, I suspect that this was an "engineered" vote. It makes little sense to lob a few missiles into Syria, and the downside in the Arab world would be considerable. I mean, trading priorities might even be affected.

A second factor, one that Russia has taken to its bearish heart, is that Muslims are killing Muslims. Putin, who would certainly know of Napoleon's dictum, is no doubt delighted, given the nasty situation Russia faces in Chechnya and the North Caucuses. Surely Cameron wouldn't be so ruthless as to stay out of Syria on purpose? Only a politician would ......but wait, he is a politician.

Barack Obama is, or was, a "community organizer" so will probably surge ahead and in some fashion  'organize" the Syrian community.

Good luck with that.

* In that year Parliament voted against continuing the war with the United States. ---Ed.                

Close, But No Cigar

Egypt has been around for some 4000 years, and has had its share of ups and downs. The latest up and down occurred recently, and has been painful to watch.

Long-term misgovernance by privileged elites finally came under close scrutiny by citizens, aided and abetted by ubiquitous social media. This not only affected Egypt, but also Bahrain, Libya, Yemen, Syria and elsewhere. Our focus here, however, remains on Egypt.

A not so spontaneous gathering in the main area of Cairo, Tahir Square, caught the world's attention. One thing led to another -- a full description of events would really require a large book -- and the leader, Hosni Mubarak, was ousted, and sent to jail. His possessing some $70 billion didn't help his cause with Egyptians, about 40% of whom live on less than two dollars a day.

An election followed, and Muhammed Morsi of the Muslim Brotherhood was elected with some 52% of the vote. He had promised to be inclusive, and to appoint representatives from all aspects of Egyptian society to government positions, be those representatives Coptic Christians, the army, other Muslim sects, and secularists. In effect, he appeared to recognize that it was important to acknowledge the importance of those in the 48% who had not voted for him.

All of Egypt held their breath.

Alas, it was not to be. As the title of this piece states, "Close, but no cigar."

Morsi drew exclusively from his colleagues in the Muslim Brotherhood to fill government positions, and packed a constitutional committee with Islamists. He stood by while hatred between Christians and Muslims grew, and more and more seems to have morphed into something little different than the previous dictator. The only difference, perhaps, was Morsi more and more emphasizing a fundamentalist Islam.

Morsi, however, had miscalculated -- the army was having none of this -- and Morsi found himself arrested. Egypt (once again) erupted in protest, and all that can be said at this point is that Egyptians came close to achieving the original aims first proclaimed in Tahir Square. But we are not playing horseshoes here -- close doesn't count.

More appropriately, close doesn't count when tossing a hand grenade either. But it can be dangerous.

Beauty and the Beast

Some readers have let me know that references to my friends and colleagues have disappeared. There is some truth in this. Being ill has a tendency to focus on the inward rather than the outer, and demands full attention. Gradually, however, things right themselves, and the outer becomes a reality again.

Thus it is that my colleague in The Trade, Matilda Hatt, got my attention by sending me some material gleaned from that beacon of shining democracy, Iran. I have taken Tilly's material and re-organized it under the following headings.

The Beauty: Nina Siakhali Moradi

The Beast: The Iranian Council of Qazvin

The Issue: In a recent election for the Council in charge of the town of Qazvin, Ms Moradi was successful in winning a seat. This horrified the elders of the town, and her election was annulled on the grounds -- wait for it -- that she was "too pretty." (I am not making this up). The deciding body here was the Election Review Council, and they determined that Ms Moradi's appearance, even if well hijabbed, would be too distracting for her fellow, male Council members.

It is interesting to note that Ms Moradi was elected with a plurality of some 10,000 votes, streets ahead of anyone else. Hence those votes must have come, not just from eager female supporters, but a slew of others, including a goodly portion of males.
This aspect gives some hope for an Iranian future not controlled by theocrats yearning for the return of the Ninth Century.

Also interesting is the fact that the Review Council has in the past indicated that in all cases, Allah's strictures are followed. Yet, as Tilly went some length to find out, it was this very Council that permitted Ms Moradi to run for election in the first place, the prevailing thinking being that she didn't stand a chance. This apparently was the will of Allah, who of course is infallible, and to date Tilly, nor anyone else, has learned how the Council will square this particular circle. Good luck with that, Council.

My Response to the Council: I have had Keats' Ode on a Grecian Urn translated into Farsi, and, with some help from the inestimable Miss Hatt, sent it to the Council members (as well as Ms Moradi, along with some words to her of commendation and encouragement). I have drawn the Council's attention to the last lines of the Ode, "Beauty is truth, truth beauty. That is all / Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know."

I am sure that the Council will appreciate the gesture.

SNAFU AT SOCHI

History would appear to be repeating itself. In the old Soviet Union, projects were undertaken that altered the course of rivers, built dams wherever possible, created cities perched uneasily on permafrost, and poured tons and tons of concrete here, there and everywhere. Cost was never a problem. This manner of thinking is much in evidence at Sochi, the proposed site for the 2014 Winter Olympic Games hosted by Russia.

Sochi itself is problematic, and one wonders what Vladimir Putin was thinking -- or smoking -- when he put the site forward. It has a sub-tropical climate and according to my research, is one of the few places in Russia where snow is scarce. The ground was once swampy and infested with malarial mosquitoes, although these nasty creatures seem to have disappeared. But you never really know.

Moreover, it is not often that the temperature falls below zero, and the lower slopes of the Caucasus Mountains do not guarantee snow. The organisers therefore have stored snow from the previous winter.

A final note of caution. Sochi is close to the north Caucasus, predominately settled by Muslims and who are immersed in a vicious conflict with Russia. According to Caucasian Knot, a monitoring organization, last year Russia lost 296 soldiers, as many as America lost in Afghanistan in the same period of time. To crazed jihadists, the opportunities for mayhem must be salivating.

And the cost? The Economist* estimated these at $50 billion U.S. -- the most expensive games in history. All of the funds come from the public purse or state-owned banks. As for corruption, well, in Russia corruption is not a side effect but simply the way business is done. Where workers are concerned, $500 per month is usual with no contracts, safety training or insurance. Wages at times are delayed, and sometimes not paid at all.

Needless to say, the work is sub-standard, and one hopes that Olympic officials alert athletes to watch their step. ALL THE TIME.

Finally, the issue of gay rights has surfaced. Russia's Parliament, or Duma, given a nod by Putin, has made being gay a criminal offence. This enables Russian police, throwing aside any pretext of servicing or protecting, to arrest, detain and deport any foreigners who "propagandize".

As Bill Maher has noted in his recent Real Time television show. "Well, there goes Olympic figure skating."

Has Putin lost it Big Time? Just asking.

* The Economist, July 13,2013, p. 45

Notes On Votes

While recuperating from my recent bout with Cholangitis, I stayed with a close friend who lived near the hospital where I was being treated. (Can't be too careful about these things).

Now it so happened that part of the city was enduring a by-election and hence was subject to candidates coming to the front door, and explaining why their candidate deserved my vote. Being from another riding, I had no vote in that particular jurisdiction, and my friend stated that there was no reason for me to respond to the request to learn all about the candidate's proposals for re-election.

I said that this was not a problem, and, were a candidate to hove into view, I would gladly illustrate what I meant.

Shortly after, this occurred.

We invited the candidate in, a somewhat breathless young woman afflicted with Purpose. She shook our hands, and gave us both a flyer outlining all good things that would come to be were she to be elected. I studied the pamphlet for a moment, then asked, "Where is it? I can't seem to find it."

"Where is what?" the woman said.

I replied,"The programs you have to cut, in order to accomplish the objectives stated in the flyer. We are already in a deficit position, taxes are at an all-time high, and therefore spending cuts to certain programs must occur. I have looked at your information to see what programs would be affected, and they don't appear to be here."

She stared at me a moment, then, realizing that this was a classic Lost Cause, took her leave.

"You see," I said to my friend, "the minute you draw on Reality, the whole political edifice crumbles, and the candidates go away."

"Unless you're Rob Ford," she countered.

"Unless you're Rob Ford. Pity he's not with the Federal Government dealing with the First Nations. Chief Redman Hood of the Standing Buffalo First Nation, to be specific. If ever a program should be cut, it would be this one. The Chief has refused to give up his office and his $194,737 tax-free salary as infuriated and impoverished band members try to impeach him. If you look further," I continued, "he makes the equivalent of $317,583 for someone living off-reserve and paying taxes. By comparison, Premier Brad Wall of Saskatchewan was paid $158,566 and Prime Minister Harper earned $315,462. Not bad for the Chief, considering Standing Buffalo has only 443 residents living there."

"Now that's a gravy train,"my friend observed.

Inarguable.